Throughout the journey of our life, we come across many different types of people with different attitudes and character. We see many individuals who are rough and ill mannered. If you analyse this group, one may notice that the main reason why they are often despised is due to their anger. However, anger is a natural instinct which exists in all. So why is it that some are so well known due to their anger? The simple reason to this is that those who seem to have less or no anger at all have successfully learnt the art of anger management which not only make them pleasant individuals but also pious and virtuous ones.
Allah has created man as the greatest of creation due to its intellect and articulate features. However, we are also told in the Quran that man has been created week and can be brought down by his desires and feelings. One of the states when man can be recognised as weak is when he is subjected to the weapons of Shaytaan. One such weapon is carnal desires. A person can be controlled so strongly when blind through his carnal desires that he fails to recognise any distinction between right and wrong. Another state which man can be seen as weak is when he is under intoxications. We see that when a person is drunk, he fails to use his intellect which Allah has blessed him with as made him great due to it. Similar to these two states, another weapon of Shaytaan is anger. We see that he is under this state, which he fails to use his intellect and is subjected to his desires and feelings. And similar to the previous two sates, an angry person also regrets much of his actions when his feeling ware off. This is why Anger is often described in Islamic literature as the root of all evil which is so strongly discouraged
The Prophet of Allah (Peace Be Upon Him) was requested for counsel by an individual to whom he replied “Do not get angry”. The man repeated his request many times, but the Prophet (PBUH) kept saying: “Do not get angry.” (Bukhari)
Anger is often referred to as a human asset which can not be eradicated but instead needs to be progressively tamed. When we analyse the life of the Prophet (PBUH), we see many incidents which we would expect any individual to get angry. Instead, we see the Prophet (PBUH) smiling and care-free. Hazret Ali (R.D) describing this once said:
“The prophet did not get angry for any action of the world. When any
true matter charmed him, nobody knew it and nobody got up to take
revenge for his anger. He got angry only for truth”.
When it was matters of deen, the Prophet (PBUH) would not restrain his anger. When he would become angry at someone else’s wrong actions or disbeliefs, he didn’t express it with his hand or tongue. His companions knew that he was angry by just looking at his face, which would turn red and with some sweat on his forehead, and he would keep quiet for a moment, trying to control himself.
It was one of the great examples a person can learn from the example of the Prophet (PBUH) was that he never allowed his anger to prevail over him. Sheikh Hassan Al Basri said that one of the signs of the Believers is that his anger does not prevail over him. Allah describes the God-fearing as those who restrain themselves in anger.
“And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden whose width is that of the heavens and the Earth, prepared for the God-fearing, those who spend in times of ease and times of hardship and who restrain their anger and who pardon people. And Allah loves those who do good.” (Surah al Imran : 133-134)
Allah himself describes his own self as having his mercy overpowering his anger. Indeed the act of restraining can be extremely great and can prove to be quit hard at times. This is why the Prophet (PBUH) described the person who can control his anger to be the true strong person. The Prophet (PBUH) said:
“The strong man is not the one who can throw another down. The strong man is the one who can keep hold of himself when he is angry.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
Like wise, Allah has promised great reward for that person who restrains his anger. The messenger of Allah (PBUH) once said:
“Whoever controls their temper in a state that if he wanted he could have taken revenge, then on the day of judgement, Allah will call him in front of everyone and will give him the choice of picking the Hoor of his choice.” (Tirmizi and Abu Dawood)
However, when a person does get angry, Islam lays down simple remedies which, if adopted can prove to be the best and effective anger management skills.
The Prophet (PBUH) advised us not to speak when we are angry. He said: “If one of you gets angry, he should be quiet.” [Musnad Ahmad]
The Prophet (PBUH) also advised: “Anger is from Satan, and Satan was created from fire. Fire is but extinguished by water, so if one of you gets angry, he should perform wudû’.” (Abu Dawud and Musnad Ahmad)
Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) also directed us to try to change ones body position if angry. This means that if you’re standing up, sit down, and if you’re sitting down stand up.
It is narrated in Bukhari that two people were arguing in the presence of Rasulullah (PBUH). One of the two became so angry that his face went red and his veins swelled. Rasulullah (PBUH) lifted his face towards that person and said to him that I know a sentence if you were to say it your anger will go away. The sentence is taw’wz. (To say ‘aoozu billahi minash shaytaanir rajeem,’ which means ‘I seek Allah’s refuge from Shaytaan, the accursed.’)
It is also very beneficial to think of Allah’s anger and punishment when one is angry. One may question ones self in the heart and ask ‘what would happen to me if Allah showed me his wrath?’ We humans who seek forgiveness from Allah must forgive others first. When one forgives someone else, it establishes peace and tranquillity in one’s heart.
It is recorded in a Hadeeth Qudsi that the Prophet (PBUH) said that Allah has announced to humanity: ‘O son of Adam, when you get angry, remember Me.’ Thus, remembrance of God and meditation will put out our anger calm us down. One of the meditation words we may recite is ‘Ya Halim’ (O the Patient/mild one), which is one of the attributes of Allah.
May Allah give us the ability to remain patient and control our anger. Ameen